- by Why Use This
- Feb 01, 2024
Imposter Syndrome is when you feel like you’re not as good as others think you are. Even if you do something well, you might worry that people will find out you’re not really that smart or talented. This feeling can make you scared that one day everyone will see that you’re just pretending.
What It Is:
Perfectionism is when you always want everything you do to be perfect. Imagine trying to draw a picture and feeling like every single line has to be exactly right, without any mistakes. If even one small thing isn’t perfect, you might feel upset or think that you didn’t do a good job at all. This can make it hard to enjoy the things you do because you’re always worrying about not being good enough.
How It Contributes to Imposter Syndrome:
When you’re a perfectionist, you might start to believe that if something isn’t perfect, it means you’re not good at it. This can make you doubt yourself all the time, even when you do something really well. Instead of feeling proud of your hard work, you might think, "I could have done better," or "I’m not that good." This constant feeling of not being good enough, even when you are, is what connects perfectionism to Imposter Syndrome. It makes it hard for you to accept that you did a great job, leading you to always feel like you’re just pretending to be good at something.
What It Is:
Fear of failure is when you’re scared of making mistakes or not doing something as well as you think you should. Imagine you have a big test at school, and you’re so worried about getting a question wrong that you can’t stop thinking about it. This fear can make you feel nervous and anxious because you don’t want to mess up or disappoint anyone, including yourself.
How It Contributes to Imposter Syndrome:
When you’re afraid of failing, you might start to think that you’re not good enough at anything. Even if you do something well, this fear can make you believe that it was just luck or that people are going to find out that you don’t know what you’re doing. Instead of feeling happy about your success, you might think, "I don’t deserve this," or "It was just a fluke." This constant worry can make you doubt yourself all the time, which is a big part of what Imposter Syndrome feels like. You might start to believe that you’re only pretending to be good at things, even when you’re doing great.
What It Is:
Childhood experiences are the things that happen to you when you’re growing up that can shape how you feel about yourself. These experiences can include how your parents, teachers, and friends treated you, the kind of feedback you received, and the lessons you learned about success and failure. For example, if you were always compared to other kids, or if you were told you had to be the best at everything, these experiences might stick with you as you grow older.
How It Contributes to Imposter Syndrome:
When you’re a child, you’re like a sponge—you absorb everything around you, including how people react to what you do. If you were constantly told that you needed to be perfect, or if you were often criticized when you made mistakes, you might start to believe that you’re only good enough when you’re perfect. This can make you feel like you’re never truly doing well, even when you are.
Let’s say you were always praised for getting top grades in school. You might start to feel like you must always get top grades to be valued or loved. So, if you ever do anything less than perfect, you might feel like you’re not good enough, or that you’re disappointing people. As you grow older, this can turn into Imposter Syndrome, where you believe that you’re only pretending to be good at things, and that you’ll be "found out" as not deserving your success.
In other words, the things that happen to us as kids can make us feel like we have to be perfect all the time or that we’re only as good as our last achievement. These feelings can carry into adulthood, making us doubt ourselves and feel like imposters, even when we’re doing well.
What It Is:
New challenges or roles are situations where you’re trying something you’ve never done before or taking on a new responsibility. This could be starting at a new school, joining a new sports team, or getting a leadership role in a group. Because these experiences are unfamiliar, they can feel a bit scary or overwhelming.
How It Contributes to Imposter Syndrome:
When you step into a new challenge or role, you might feel like you don’t know what you’re doing because it’s all so new. This can make you worry that you’re not good enough for the task or that others will think you’re not capable.
For example, imagine you’ve just been chosen as the captain of your soccer team. Even though you were picked because you’re a great player, you might start to doubt yourself. You might think, "What if I’m not a good leader?" or "What if everyone finds out I’m not as skilled as they think?" This fear of not living up to the expectations of the new role can make you feel like an imposter.
As a result, instead of feeling excited about the new challenge, you might feel nervous and unsure of yourself. You might start to think that any success you have is just luck and that sooner or later, people will realize you’re not as good as they thought. This is how taking on new challenges or roles can lead to Imposter Syndrome, making you doubt your abilities even when you’re doing a great job.
What It Is:
Social comparisons happen when you compare yourself to other people to see how you measure up. This could be looking at how well someone else does in school, how fast they run, or how many friends they have. You might think, "Am I as good as them?" or "Do I measure up?"
How It Contributes to Imposter Syndrome:
When you constantly compare yourself to others, it can make you feel like you’re not as good or successful as they are, even if you’re doing well. For example, if you see a friend who gets better grades or wins more awards, you might start to think, "They’re so much better than me," or "I’m not as smart or talented as they are."
These thoughts can make you focus on what you think you’re lacking, rather than on your strengths and accomplishments. Instead of feeling proud of what you’ve achieved, you might feel like you’re not good enough because you’re not like someone else. This can lead to feelings of self-doubt and make you believe that your successes aren’t real or deserved.
Imagine you just won an art contest, but then you see a classmate who’s good at drawing and has won lots of contests before. Instead of feeling happy about your own win, you might start thinking, "I’m not really that good. I was just lucky this time." This can make you feel like you’re pretending to be good at something, even when you’ve worked hard and done well.
Social comparisons can make you feel like you’re always falling short, which is a big part of what Imposter Syndrome is all about. It makes it hard to appreciate your successes because you’re too busy worrying about how you stack up against others.
What It Is:
Cultural or societal pressures are the expectations that come from the society or community you live in. These are the "rules" or "standards" that people around you believe in, such as what it means to be successful, how you should behave, or what kind of goals you should aim for. These pressures can come from your family, school, friends, or even things you see in the media, like TV shows or social media.
How It Contributes to Imposter Syndrome:
When you feel like you have to meet certain expectations to be accepted or valued, it can make you doubt yourself if you don’t think you’re living up to them. For example, if your culture or society says that being successful means getting top grades, having a great job, or being popular, you might feel pressure to achieve these things, even if they’re not what you want.
If you’re not able to meet these expectations—or if you do, but it doesn’t feel like it’s truly "you"—you might start to feel like a fraud. You might think, "I’m only pretending to be successful because I’m just doing what people expect of me, not what I want." This can make you feel like you’re not being true to yourself, which can lead to Imposter Syndrome.
For example, if everyone around you expects you to become a doctor or an engineer because that’s seen as the "best" path, you might feel like you have to follow that path, even if you’re not sure it’s what you want. If you struggle along the way or don’t enjoy it, you might start to feel like you’re not good enough, even if you’re doing well.
Cultural or societal pressures can also make you feel like you have to be perfect in every aspect of your life, not just in school or work. If you feel like you’re not meeting all these expectations, it can make you doubt yourself and feel like you’re just pretending to be successful or happy.
These pressures can be especially strong if you’re from a minority group or if you’re in an environment where the expectations don’t match your values or goals. This can make you feel like you have to work extra hard to prove yourself, which can lead to feelings of being an imposter, even when you’re doing your best.
What It Is:
External validation is when other people recognize and acknowledge your achievements or efforts. It’s the praise, compliments, or feedback you get from teachers, parents, friends, or anyone else who sees the good work you’ve done. Lack of external validation happens when you don’t receive this recognition, even when you’ve worked hard and accomplished something.
How It Contributes to Imposter Syndrome:
When you don’t get feedback or praise for your efforts, it can make you doubt whether what you’ve done is good or valuable. Even if you’ve done something great, if nobody notices or tells you that you’ve done a good job, you might wonder if it was that great after all.
For example, imagine you worked really hard on a school project and got a good grade, but your teacher didn’t say anything special about it, and your friends didn’t seem to notice. Even though you did well, you might start to think, "Maybe it wasn’t as good as I thought," or "Did I do a good job, or was it just luck?"
This lack of validation can make you feel like your achievements aren’t real or important, leading to self-doubt. Over time, if you’re not getting enough positive feedback, you might start to believe that your successes don’t really count or that you’re just pretending to be good at something.
When people don’t receive external validation, they can start to rely too much on their own doubts and worries, which can make Imposter Syndrome even stronger. Without someone else telling you, "You did a great job," it’s easy to feel like you’re not good enough, even when you are.
In short, not getting enough recognition for your hard work can make you feel like you’re not truly successful, leading to feelings of being an imposter. It’s important to remember, though, that just because others don’t always notice doesn’t mean your achievements aren’t real or valuable.
